It’s been almost two years since we brought in our Google Mini, aka “Peroogle.” Just for fun, I thought you might like to see the way we first introduced it to the staff. Note, this draft was distributed to the staff on April 1, 2005. When we did the announcement, we all wore Google shirts and Google hats, and we gave out all kinds of Google goodies.
Press release (draft, not for distribution)
9500 Medlock Bridge Road
Duluth, GA 30097
RandyR @ Perimeter.org
April 1, 2005, DULUTH, GA. Perimeter Church, a congregation of the Presbyterian Church in America, is pleased to announce its intent to purchase Internet search engine giant Google™. Over the last several weeks, Perimeter Church has been positioning itself to hold a controlling interest in the ubiquitous search site, and plans to immediately integrate the company into its functions as a church.
“This makes sense right now. We feel strongly that discipleship drives the life of the church, and our pastor’s T.E.A.M.S. Paradigm begins with Truth. In order to get a larger grasp of truth, we needed to get a larger grasp on all the available information,” explained Randy Schlichting during the press conference. “Google’s corporate goal has been to put all information on the web. That is going to align perfectly with our approach to discipleship.”
In the conference to announce the buyout, a large, complex chart (approximately 12ft x 30ft) was presented to explain how the church and search engine will function together. Amid complaints that the 8 point type was too small, CIO Scott Hamilton said, “Just look at the chart… Its all right there. C’mon, just look at it. It’s easy. It should be intuitively obvious, if not blatantly evident, to even the most casual observer.”
“Our corporate motto is ‘don’t be evil’.” said Google co-founder Larry Page. “We felt like a church would be an ideal place to mesh our corporate philosophy with our work environment. Though we aren’t crazy about the whole ‘changing your voicemail greeting every day’ thing.”
“While reading Google’s corporate philosophy I was astonished at the similarity to our own. I thought I was reading ours!” said John Purcell, Perimeter’s Staff Director. Google’s well known philosophy is perhaps best described in their “Ten Things” publication.
Sergey Brin, co-founder of Google, and president of Technology, spoke highly of the relationships within the new organization. “As you know, the name Google comes from the mathematical term googol. When we learned of Randy Pope being a math major, we knew we had a match made, well, in heaven!”
When asked about how a public company and a non-profit religious organization could possibly be combined, Gordon Moore, Operations Director for Perimeter Church, said “Current Google shareholders have expressed excitement about the ability to convert their investments into charitable donations. We think this will be far easier than our usual end of year stock contribution process.”
One of the first initiatives of the new company will be the first ever webcast of the Inquirer’s and Membership seminars. Randy Pope, founding pastor of Perimeter said, “This is what I’ve been wanting to do for years. Finally we can take full advantage of technology.” Actually, much of what the new company will do comes from ideas explained in Randy’s latest book “The Prevailing Internet Church” (subtitled “amazing discoveries from my personal blog”) Randy has invited church members, stockholders, Perimeter staff, and Google employees, to send any questions or concerns to his personal email address, JustRandy @ Perimeter.org.
Why the name Peroogle? Besides the natural blending of the names of the original organizations, Randy Pope, John Purcell, Gordon Moore, Bob Carter, Matt Brinkley, Daniel Case, and Don Sawtelle all responded together “we like three syllable names.” Randy Schlichting had proposed the alternative name, Peri-oogle, but the Perimeter Management team collectively decided to stay with what works — three syllables it is. Don Sawtelle declined comment when asked about rumors that legal name-change paperwork had been prepared for employees who’s names did not fit the three syllable standard.
Peroogle is also the name of the first product of the combined organization. Peroogle will bring order and “findability” to the vast chaos of documents otherwise known as Perimeter’s Published drive. Now, Perimeter staff members will be able to quickly find those long lost documents. “The days of writing the same documents, over and over, are finally behind us. Never again will I need piles of paper on my desk!” said Jim LaBarr, Perimeter’s training manager and well known collector of paper resources
Please stay tuned for further information about this exciting merger of Perimeter and Google™.
Peroogle – the merger of Perimeter Church and Google Inc.
“if you don’t find us, we’ll find you”