Why is conversation so powerful?
“… it’s still a huge mystery to me, how powerful it is when people come together just to talk.
It puts our minds into contact.”
Lower section on page 74
What defines conversation? Comments on Facebook probably don’t fit. Face-to-Face, for sure, probably a phone call or Zoom-style interaction, in some cases a text thread or email can work. But yelling and belittling, I think that fails.
If a beverage is involved, does that help?
“Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself and never refuse to take a drink- under any circumstances.”
– Mark Twain’s Notebook
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From, “I Never Thought of it That Way, “Monica Guzman
Book: https://amzn.to/4od51EK, Kindle: https://amzn.to/4fgSo7B, Audible: https://amzn.to/3IOCvct
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INTIOTW: What am I missing?
Chapter 4, page 55
Alternative thought: where might I be wrong, or a little bit wrong?
Blindspots
Dunning-Krueger Effect is similar!
https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/dunning-kruger-effect
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From, “I Never Thought of it That Way, “Monica Guzman
Book: https://amzn.to/4od51EK, Kindle: https://amzn.to/4fgSo7B, Audible: https://amzn.to/3IOCvct
Book and dialog Introduction:
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Lack of Engagement :(
Book: I Never Thought of it That Way, Monica Guzman
I’d hoped for a little more engagement. I knew it was a long shot.
Switching to simpler “questions I liked”
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INTOITW: What Am I Missing?
What Am I Missing?
Book: I Never Thought of it That Way, Monica Guzman
Part II (before Chapter 4)
“If there’s one question I want to persuade you to ask more often, it’s ‘What am I missing?'” Page 49
If you’ve read Leadership and Self-Deception, https://amzn.to/3ISCW5m or The Anatomy of Peace, https://amzn.to/45tbYKo then there is the similar idea, “what am I not seeing?” (that everyone else sees, or everyone else sees about me)
How do you uncover your own blind spots?
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INTOITW: Enough on Silos
INTOITW: Enough on Silos
Book: I Never Thought of it That Way, Monica Guzman
Chapter: Chapter 3, Silos
There are several more sections in this chapter. Lots of quotable stuff, but to over-simplify, silos are not good! When we get to siloed, we can even dehumanize the people on the other side. How can that ever be good?
Worth a quick read. Pages 40 and 41 have the story of protests against COVID-19 business shutdowns. People really being ugly to each other, or more specifically to each other’s groups. Near the bottom of page 41 is the story of Phillip Campbell who understood why people wanted to close businesses. And why people wanted to keep businesses open. His statement, that Monica says was view changing: “It’s like I’ve got my mom hanging from a cliff and my child hanging from the other side and I’m being told to save one. … What am I supposed to do? I have the right to be frustrated with the choice.”
Do you really think those people on the other side are less than human? All of them? That’s a hard one to think about.
As this chapter ends, Monica introduces the idea of bridging. That’s an encouraging idea!
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INTOITW: Silos Intensify
INTOITW: Silos Intensify
Book: I Never Thought of it That Way, Monica Guzman
Chapter: 3,Silowing
Section: Silos Intensify
” … what happens to our opinions when we share them only with people who agree with us. … They get more extreme.” Page 34
“One of the characteristic features of feuds is that members of feuding groups tend to talk only to one another, or at least listen only to one another, fueling and amplifying their outrage.” Page 35
My Thoughts:
Feud? Is that what our division is, a feud? Wow, that fits!
The recurring question (mine, not necessarily the book’s), can you / do you have dialogs, rather than arguments, with the other side? Do you know how to engage with a “them?”
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Book and dialog Introduction:
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Blog: https://tonydye.com/2025/06/i-never-thought-of-it-that-way/
Tags: #INTOITW, #CuriosityQuestions, #BridgeBuilding