Tony Dye

Tony Dye




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LaSD, Chapter 3

Chapter 3. Self-Deception

Pages 11-15

The mixed stories of thrill and despair concerning children. Far too common! The workaholic, away from family.

TD> Why are they talking about me!

Working hard, but not engaged. Isolation, loss of vision, actually making trouble for others, intentionally or not. The appearance, or at least the self-belief, that others were the source of all the problems. “… from my point of view …”

Bottom of page 15, continuing at top of 16

[Bud] “But there was a bigger problem — and it’s this problem that you and I need to talk about.”

[Bud] “The bigger problem was that I couldn’t see that I had a problem.”

[Bud] “There is no solution to the problem of lack of commitment, for example, without a solution to the bigger problem — the problem that I can’t see that I’m not committed.”

TD> Back to the basic problem — everyone but me sees the problem!

TD> Problem 1 is the problem; problem 2, the bigger problem, is not seeing the problem – that I had the problem!

Page 16

Middle of page

Technical name for the insistent blindness … ‘self-deception.’ Zagrum’s non-technical term, ‘being in the box.’

Self-deception. “Being in the box.” The person in the box doesn’t ever think of themselves as the problem. Common across all organizations, and most damaging.

Two-third’s down

[Bud] “There’s nothing more common in organizations than self-deception,” he continued. “For example, think about a person from your work experience who’s a big problem — say someone who’s ben a major impediment to teamwork.”

TD> I’ve had plenty of these across the years. Now I’m wondering, how often was I the bigger problem?

Top of page 17, in response to Bud’s question, Does the person think he’s the problem?

[Tom] “No. Definitely not.”

[Bud] “That’s usually the case. Identify someone whit a problem, and you’ll be identifying someone who resist the suggestion that he has one. That’s self-deception …

TD> My own self-reflection. Am I ready to look back across the years and the problems and re-evaluate my part, which might have been significant?

Paraphrase of next to last paragraph: Zagrum’s top strategic initiative is to minimize self-deception.

TD> What real companies do this? And would be willing to say it out loud?! Maybe that’s a twist on self-deception, too. The self-deception that admitting self-deception would make us look bad! Or maybe it’s just not recognizing it in the first place. As in QBQ, how many companies instead look for “who’s to blame?” What’s the escape from that thinking? Hopefully the rest of this book! :)

** As Bud is describing “the box,” what are your thoughts?

TD> Initially, maybe because Bud is using the whiteboard, I’m thinking of a stick figure in a box drawn on that board. Further reading, and perhaps influenced by Anatomy of Peace and The Outward Mindset, I now think of this box as a big cardboard box, with me standing in it. It may be chest-high, or it may be neck high, or it may be taller than me, and closed at the top!

Things I want to remember from this chapter:

  • Seeing the real problem. That will almost never happen on my own!
  • What if a company’s top strategic initiative was to minimize self-deception? What real company is like that?
  • Could “Bud Meetings” become part of a company’s standard onboarding process? How might that change everything?

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