Tony Dye

Tony Dye

MAKING IT EASIER TO DO
THE RIGHT THINGS

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LaSD, Chapter 16

Chapter 16. Box Problems

Last chapter talked about what focus and who focus. When we focus on others, and results, we’re out of the box. We’re happy to see others succeed.

Page 112

Bud, with Tom, start to review Bud’s San Francisco Experience. Just noticing, in the process, Bud erases a lot of the board, with no mention of asking, or even saying.

Bottom of page 112, and onto page 113.

Building a list of problems that result from Self-Betrayal. Then listing them beside the self-betrayal diagram.

TD> Noticing, Self-betrayal increases stress! There’s an irony for you. I think of self-betrayal as being selfish, even lazy, and in the “goal achieving vs. stress relieving” the actions of self-betrayal would seem to be on the latter, but the results is the opposite of that! This self-betrayal, in the box stuff, seems often to be opposite of what we expect or desire. “Isn’t that interesting!”

Bottom of the page

Dialog: the problems are only after Bud betrayed himself. Not during the initial feeling of wanting to help.

Page 114

Continuing, all the problems are only AFTER self-betrayal.

Middle of the page

Problems were caused by self-betrayal.

[Bud] So the solution to the self-betrayal problem is the solution to all those people problems.

Page 115

Near the top

[Bud] Self-betrayal is the germ that creates the disease of self-deception.

Middle of the page

Tom noticing that the stories and examples so far have been about relationships, mostly personal. “But is it always the same in business?”

Two-thirds down

[Bud] it doesn’t matter whether we betray ourselves at home, at work, at the store, or wherever. The box — self-deception — will cause all the same kinds of problems in every one of those situations that it caused in this one.

Last paragraph

[Bud] There’s a particular self-betrayal that almost everyone engages in at work … concerning the very purpose of what we were hired to do … to achieve results. The key to solving most of the people problems that afflict organizations is in discovering how we can solve this central work-place self-betrayal.

Page 116

And then Bud doesn’t give the answer! And Kate has to leave.

Bottom of page 116 and onto page 117

Kate’s story of how she left Zagrum, “because of Lou.” And how she rejoined the company, “because of Lou.” The old Lou and the new Lou and the corresponding changes in Zagrum.

Middle of the page

Kate tells Bud that he’s the company’s secret weapon. I’ve known a few such people in my life. I want to be one for somebody else! (is that self-serving, in-the-box behavior?) Kate’s seriousness about the meeting. “what we’re now embarked on produces more results for this company than any other single thing we do.”

I love how the characters in this fictional story interact. I believe that Kate really wanted to stay when she had to leave for another meeting. I’d like to meet Kate! Likewise Lou. The cause of Kate leaving, and the cause of her coming back. Change can happen, at least to these fictional people! “The need to apologize.” That’s been a troubling area for me for a few years, and I’ve had one recent great success with it. Very loose parallel to the story, but all this to say that years later, an apology can be a big deal.

Page 118

The decision to finish up tomorrow rather than tonight. And the tease there might be a surprise. [Supposedly a good one]

Tom ends the day thinking about Todd and Laura and his need for some apologizing! A sudden interest in helping Todd with working on cars and preparing a meal for Laura. “… in a hurry to get home …”

TD> Makes me wonder what I’m not even thinking about doing for others!

Seems we’ve been waiting for “the good part” of this book. I think we just stepped into it…

Chapter Summary: Problems, especially people problems, are a direct result of self-betrayal. That extreme irony, that what’s wrong with other people is that *I* betrayed myself! We’re left waiting for the “particular type of self-betrayal” Bud mentioned that is key to solving most problems.

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