Tony Dye

Tony Dye




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LaSD, Chapter 8

Chapter 8. Doubt

Last chapter ended with Bud giving Tom the assignment to think of people at Zagrum and how he viewed them, from in or out of the box.

TD> I can so identify with Tom’s internal contradictions. Strangely both more and less secure in his job, and simultaneously feeling far better about himself or what he knew he needed to do.

Page 50

Second paragraph

[Tom] I was on completely unfamiliar ground. Nothing I had experienced in my career had prepared me for my meeting with Bud. … I also had never felt better about what I was doing.

TD> How did the Arbinger folks come up with this concept? I never saw it in any corporate training. Maybe, unlike Ecclesiastes, there is something new under the sun.

Last three paragraphs

The assumptive response of Tom’s secretary (surprised they used that word!) that if Tom wanted to see someone, then there must be something that person had done wrong. The awkward conversation with Sheryl, trying to get her to say something positive about him and his style. Tom’s recognizing he was putting her in an impossible position – perhaps the first step in seeing reality.

TD> I had to laugh at Sheryl’s knowledge of what Tom was learning, and his embarrassment at the situation. (been there!) I guess I can say that I’ve been blessed from time to time when a co-worker or subordinate was so much smarter than me, and willing to fill me in.

Page 51

Tom’s continued conversation with Sheryl. Knowing he hadn’t been her best manager.

Near the bottom

[Tom’s internal thinking] She didn’t like me much. … But I felt no ill will toward her. … I felt sorry. I also felt a little embarrassed.

TD> In this interaction, pretty sure Tom is seeing Sheryl as a person. Even though her answers had been careful and measured, I sense that there is now some trust!

Page 52

Middle of the page, Sheryl already knew about “the box” and self-deception. “Everyone here knows about it.”

TD> There’s a class!

[Sheryl] Yes, and self-betrayal, collusion, getting out of the box, focusing on results, the four levels of organizational performance, and all the rest.”

TD> Sheryl knew a lot of terms that Tom didn’t! Sheryl recognized where Tom was in the process, and responded in a caring way. She had been an object to Tom, but she was treating him as a person. Had she always?

Page 53

[Sheryl] “not the biggest” (jerk).

TD> Quickly growing comfort and trust. Before the conversation is over Sheryl gives him a nice confidence boost, “Maybe you know more about it than you think you do.”

Middle of the page

[Tom, waiting on Joyce]

D> My heart is pounding while this fictional character is waiting in someone else’s office! I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to prepare to meet her after my actions of just days before, and the learnings of the last few hours. Wait, have all these chapters just covered one morning? Wow, my brain is full!

Noticing: Tom didn’t know what Joyce did, and she was in his organization!

End of the page and on to page 54

Joyce’s confusion, shock, probably fear.

Tom’s apology; and somewhat Joyce’s too.

TD> I’m not sure what an “Oh-you-didn’t-have-to-do-that” smile looks like, but I know I’d like to see it! We don’t have the end of the conversation except the mention that Joyce had stopped trembling.

Bottom of the page

20 “extra” minutes

A call to Laura (Tom’s wife)

TD> Clearly unexpected, unusual. Never a call for no reason. Oh how I can identify with this! [however, I just might text for little or no reason]

Page 55

The surprised wife. “… it’s not like you ever call….” Tom’s exit of the conversation, and his in-the-box thoughts. Of course, it’s because of Laura that he’s in the box. Right!

TD> I can identify with that. “it’s not my fault!” hmmm… bet that’s going to not prove out true…

Bottom of the page

The difficult self-debrief. And blame. “What could you expect?”

TD> This is all too familiar. Even though I’ve previously read this book and think I’m applying the learning!

Page 56 and onto 56

The self-talk. The blame talk. The re-encouragement – good talks with Sheryl and Joyce, so I must be OK. They should be tougher. Yeah, I shouldn’t feel guilty for their issues!

TD> Yes, I’m speaking of Tom, of course, I certainly don’t have any of these issues with other people! Uh huh, I’m sure you believe that…

Kate calls Tom by name. Wondering how big Zagrum is, and if this is normal for Kate to know the names of the various managers. Then remembering the earlier comment about reviewing name badge pictures and names. TD> Remembering a time eons ago when I was called to the President’s office of the company I worked for. He knew who I was, which really surprised me. I was one, probably of a handful, who that day received some stock options that had the potential of being of great value. This wasn’t like Microsoft or Apple where we all became millionaires, but it was an incredibly nice gesture and very unexpected. There’s a surprising, and nice, memory!

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