Tony Dye

Tony Dye




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LaSD, Chapter 9

Part II. How We Get in the Box

Chapter 9. Kate

That’s a simple title!

Last chapter Kate Stenarude called out to Tom as he was deep in reflection on how well his conversations had gone with Sheryl and Joyce, but not with his wife.

Page 59

Kate was the last of Tom’s eight interviewers. Instantly likeable. Common to nearly everyone at Zagrum.

TD> The “nearly” jumps out at me! Who have we encountered who is not likeable?

Backstory on Kate’s 25 years in the company, finally taking over for Lou.

TD> Arbinger’s second book (a prequel to this one), The Anatomy of Peace, adds more to this story. A lot more!

TD> As in a previous chapter, the fact that Kate remembered Tom, and things about him (St Louis Cardinals) is one of those “I need to think about that” (a lot) things. If people matter (and I’m noticing I started that with “if”) then their names matter, and things about them matter. I can turn that into a task, but that’s then treating them as objects. Do I care?!

Page 60

First paragraph

Kate’s comment about the “Bud” meetings: “It’s the thing I like most of all.

TD> I can sorta get into that, I think… for this kind of meeting, rather than most meetings. Wouldn’t it be great to have this kind of meeting as part of onboarding for anyone and everyone?

Middle of page

Tom wondering if there wasn’t something more important that Kate and Lou should be doing

[Kate] *** “There isn’t anything more important than this – at least not from our viewpoint. … everything … built on what you’re now learning. EVERYTHING is built on this. Relationships and human interactions are the foundation for all else.” ***

TD> Do I believe that? More important than processes? I’m resisting, but I think I’m conceding at the same time… I want a process for relationships!

TD> How significant. “This” meeting, the investment in Tom, is the basis for everything. She’s not saying there’s a test, but strongly implied, get this or you don’t fit!

Bottom of page and continuing on Page 61

[Kate] … does seem a little like overkill … it IS overkill. “I like this stuff so much …”

TD> Her desire to do this as her only function

Page 61


In response to Kate’s question of “how’s it been going?” Not “the work,” but this meeting today.

Everybody is in the box, at least sometimes.

[Kate] “it’s simply about getting better. … That kind of leadership mentality — at every level … is what sets us apart.

TD> Being a “reformed perfectionist,” I still like to think that things can be done with excellence. “Getting better” meets my standards. Funny how Kate mentions “systematic and concrete ways.” That doesn’t sound at all relational.

TD> Just thinking out loud. We are learning a universal skill, or behavior. If everyone had more exposure to this, wouldn’t every workplace get better? Maybe I’m coming to that conclusion too quickly

Page 62


[Kate] “ … I come to these sessions … to be reminded …”

TD> Parallels some thoughts on training/learning: I don’t need to be taught anything new, I just need to be reminded of things I already know, but forget to practice. Most of us need reminders of things we know and agree with. We forget important stuff far too easily. If I could invent something of great value, it would be some sort of a reminder system. Anyone familiar with ANKI?

Tom wondering how to deal with someone who is impossible. He was thinking of his wife, but didn’t say so.

[Kate] suggested waiting on Bud for more.

TD> I get the feeling that Kate and Bud have a sense of the issues in Tom’s marriage already. I really admire (and likewise sort of hate) people who can read other people so well.

Things I want to remember from this chapter:

  • Work on remembering people. (Start by listening)
  • The overall idea of the “Bud meeting.” Some meetings can be fun and useful.
  • Relationships are the key to everything! I believe that and I’m also very frustrated by it as I have such trouble with relationships!
  • Knowledge, skills, behaviors, attitudes: we can know stuff, and forget it!

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